So even though my last post was almost 3 months ago, I’ve managed to gain 3 more followers. I apologize for my absence. Listen, I love the idea of blogging but I’ve been feeling very down about the subject matter. I’m beginning to find my way out of the black hole that is anxiety and I feel pretty good. I’m a lot happier and things are going well. But now I have to look back here and feel like a failure. I want to blog. I want to talk about things that are important. And I would love to make a career out of it. But how do I do that? Where do I start? And most importantly, is the subject matter keeping me from moving on?
I’ve been spending that last 3 months without talking about my anxiety and I’ve been doing really well. Maybe it’s time to let this go. I’m not sure if that means letting go of my book idea but I just don’t think I can walk around with this dark cloud looming over me anymore. I haven’t decided what to do. Shall I let go of this blog? Create a new one maybe? But about what? I have a lot of things on my mind but what’s the most important? Which one can I make stand out? Which one will make a difference? Looks like I’m doing some soul searching.
In the mean time, as I try and decide whether this blog is what I want and need, I’ve decided there’s a lot of things I’m going to try. P90X, for one. It’s an intense workout program. But I have time and I’m wasting it away. I’m going to start crocheting with t shirt yarn. I have some great ideas and I’d like to open my own online shop. And, if all goes well with the next year and my husband getting out of the military, I’m going to try for my AA in Business. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing with my life. But I have ideas, and that’s a start.
I Choose Happiness 
Well no matter what you choose to do make sure it is what makes you happy. 🙂
Thank you! That’s very sweet 🙂
I can relate. I started a blog a while ago where I talked about my issues with anxiety. It was cathartic for the first little while, but then it almost became a burden. As I was starting to get a handle on my anxiety, my need to write about it was lessening. Ultimately I gave up that blog and started another one. I’m not suggesting you do the same, but rather, trust your gut. Everything, and everyone, comes into our life for a reason. It doesn’t matter for how long. All that matters is the role it played in enriching your life. For me, that blog, although I wrote anonymously, allowed me to exercise my voice. To scream when I felt like no one was listening. To inform when I felt like no one understood.
I haven’t gone through your entire blog yet. I just stumbled on it today. But from what I’ve read so far, I can tell you this: I think the things you write about are very important and worthwhile things to share. It’s sometimes easy to lose sight on how your own struggles and victories can inspire others, but they can. They always can. As for feeling like a failure – again, I can relate. But I’d like to take this opportunity to point out how brave you are. You took a risk by sharing things about yourself that are not easy things for people to share. Revealing that you have flaws is not revealing failure. It’s revealing your strength. Your strength to stand tall and be who you are. I hope that one day the failure you feel is replaced with admiration and pride.
Until then, I echo the comment above: Do what makes you happy. And when in doubt, go with your gut.